Alexander Wang, Be Still My Heart

It's Fashion Week in NYC for the Fall 2014 season and omigod Alexander Wang won Saturday. Which was a tough call because It's Your War Paint favorite, Mara Hoffman, also showed on Saturday, as did hometown hero, Christian Siriano (oh hey, Annapolis!).

See the whole collection here: http://www.vogue.com/fashion-week/fall-2014/alexander-wang/review/

For me, it was all about the shoes. He managed to make boots resembling shin guards look chic and thigh highs look sporty.   The true feat is that somehow my brain is telling me that I can pull off both looks despite the unflattering heights. I've been daydreaming about all of the outfits I could make with these gorgeous, shin guarding, to die for, perfect for boot season boots (or the Steve Madden variation since I'm a real person and don't have Alexander Wang money hanging out in my bank account waiting for September the roll around).  But I have a confession: I suffer from cankles. Well, that's not true because I have ankles. And you can see them. But my calves and thighs are scarily similar in circumference so I suffer from whatever you'd call that anomaly. Midcalf boots hit the thickest part of my lower leg and I've yet to find a thigh high that is big enough for my calf and still fit above my knee correctly. I promise I will let you know as soon as I find something because I can't be the only one with "sporty" calves that don't match the proportion of the thigh above them. Anyway,  here are some of my favorite beauty products that I will use when I want to feel all Alexander-Wangy.  

Boscia Luminizing Black Mask Chanel Le Vernis in Black Satin Living Proof Flex Shaping Hairspray Make Up For Ever HD Microfinish Powder Nirvana Black by Elizabeth and James

Monthly Muse: February

I can’t decide which is sadder:  the fact that I now know from firsthand experience what -3° actually feels like, or the fact that 2014 already has a buzzword and we’re only 32 days in. Either way this Polar Vortex can suck it. Add to that the fact that it’s February and I want to scream. February is kind of the worst.  Here’s why:

1.       It’s cold. And wearing my winter accessories lost its charm weeks ago.

2.      My gorgeous olive skin tone that my mother blessed me with? It’s now a sallowy yellow-greenish color and I look permanently ill due to lack of sunlight. 

3.      After President’s Day, there are no more paid holidays to look forward to until Memorial Day. In May.  So basically, February is the Monday of the Calendar year. Ew.

4.      I’ll spend yet another year ignoring the existence of Valentine’s Day all together. Until the day after when I will inevitably breakdown and buy myself a heart-shaped box of chocolates because they’re half-off and delicious in a way that regular candy bars just aren’t. Then, when I take my candy up to the cashier, the girl behind the register will morph into Chandler and just look at me like “Could you BE any more pathetic?” and this will make me sad and embarrassed. So then I’ll probably just eat my candy alone in my car so as not to risk anyone mistaking it for a gift and having to field questions about new prospects (of which there won’t be any because who wants to date a person in a shitty mood with a sickly complexion?).

5.       It’s cold (so cold that it is worth listing twice).  

But this year, instead of wallowing in bitterness, I am going to celebrate Black History Month with Michael and Janet, channeling my anger into inspiration with Scream. While the lyrics of the song encapsulate frustrations that run much deeper than the weather and being single on Valentine's Day, the aesthetic of the Scream video is perfect for this dreary month. Michael and Janet take the dark and cold of outer space and turn it into a minimalist dreamscape that is right on trend for 2014 (minus the knee pads of course). Michael and Janet are true visionaries with black nail polish, smoky eyes, piecey hair, lug soles, and crop tops that show just a sliver of skin. Also, can we talk about how, in 1997, the Jacksons dreamed up the type of digital wall art that Bill Gates is famous for having in real life today? Amazing.     

Like Janet, I’m still holding up a big middle finger this month, but I’ll be doing it with lots of smudged eyeliner and metallic accents…and maybe while breaking a few therapeutic vases just for good measure.

P.S.  This song has been tested and approved for use on a treadmill and an eliptical.  Use while lifting weights at your own risk.  

Coffee Buzzkill, Or: How to Wear the Nineties Lip Now

Ah, the nineties. What defines the decade? Maybe the biggest thing that comes to mind for me is coffee.  Coffee as in The Real World: Seattle, getting “coffee” (coffee is normally 300 calories and comes with whipped cream, right?) on the weekends because, you know, grown-ups drink coffee and I wasn’t just some kid anymore, Central Perk, and every other coffee shop on the set of every other primetime sitcom. 

Of course, this coffee craze ran into makeup too.  In eighth and ninth grades, pretty much all of my lip colors had names like Mocha Raton and Java the Hut.  But none held a candle to Bonne Bell’s Lip Glam lip gloss in Iced Toffee Coffee.  And every actress on 90210 managed to wear a different brown lip look in almost every episode.  But while the ladies’ lips of 90210 seemed to get matter (read: dryer) the further into college they got, I took to the other side of the spectrum and went glossy and frosty.  Nothing screams “I’m a teenager now, dammit!” like hanging out at the mall with over frosted lips and a Raspberry Mocha Frappuccino in hand.    

If the runways and magazines are to be trusted, the return of brown lipstick is upon us.  And if, like me, the idea of wearing brown lipstick sends mocha-almond-java-chip flavored shivers down your spine, I’ve found your answer (and there isn’t a coffee pun in sight).

Fresh Sugar Honey tinted lip treatment is the best way to get the look while still feeling like you belong in this decade.  Like all of Fresh’s Sugar lip treatments, Honey is moisturizing, reparative, and has SPF 15 UV protection.  It goes on smooth and leaves behind a splash of nude color that has decidedly brown undertones.  It is neither matte nor frosty, but rather gives the lip a slight sheen.  It doesn’t read as full-on lipstick but isn’t exactly sheer.  Honey gives your lips a supple softness while the added color will light up your whole face.  I’m not saying you’ll look as youthful as you did while scouring Claire’s for roll-on body glitter, but you will be on-trend without looking like a misguided teenager.   

 Find it online here: http://www.fresh.com/lip-care/lip-treatment/

Love Raised Me, Lipstick Saved Me

LOVE RAISED ME LIPSTICK SAVED ME might just be one the greatest beauty adages to come out of this century.   The genius behind it is makeup artist Angelique Velez, whose shop Breakups To Makeup gives you access to everything from makeup bags to tank tops stamped with her words of wisdom.   

The brilliance of the phrase lies in the gazillion ways one can interpret it.  For me, it speaks to my love of makeup as the ultimate form of self-acceptance. 

While fashion has a very special place in my heart, makeup is my great love.  Makeup is universally accessible.  As someone who has struggled with weight for the greater part of my life, I learned at a young age that makeup would never tell me I was too big to wear it.  As a teenager, trying on the shades of lipstick in my local Sephora didn’t cause the anxious feelings in the pit of my stomach that inevitably came with dressing rooms.  The trendiest nail colors were always within my reach; I didn’t have to buy one only to hang it on my wall in the weeks leading up to Spring Break but never have the guts to wear it in public, because there is no such thing as a “goal polish.”   And if I did gain or lose weight (as yo-yo dieters do) I wouldn’t have to resign my favorite eye shadow to a “skinny” or “fat” pile. My beauty products were there to offer a means to look my best.  Makeup allowed me to highlight what I liked about myself without focusing on the parts I wasn’t so happy with.   

And when I was in law school, going to special lectures just to get the free crackers and cheese they served after, I could only dream of the expensive clothes I stared endlessly at on my laptop during class.  But no matter what my bank account looked like, I could always manage to budget in a new lipstick or smudge-proof eyeliner from the CVS next to my apartment.  And when I brought home a brand new lipstick or opened a fresh pot of lip balm, I felt happy.  I could indulge in the rush of shopping without feeling guilty. 

No matter my life circumstances, whatever my self-consciousness is grappling with, it will always be the lipstick that saves me in the end.

So the real question is:  Which LOVE RAISED ME LIPSTICK SAVED ME accessory did I buy?  I have a slight obsession with iPhone cases (as you’ll quickly learn as I write more posts) and so I’m waiting for it to come back in stock.  In the meantime, I’ve got a clutch in my cart and am dangerously close to clicking checkout.

Find LOVE RAISED ME LIPSTICK SAVED ME and other Breakups to Makeup products at http://breakupstomakeup.com/